bcachefs: Add an option for btree node mem ptr optimization

bcachefs: Add an option for btree node mem ptr optimization

bch2_btree_node_ptr_v2 has a field for stashing a pointer to the in
memory btree node; this is safe because we clear this field when reading
in nodes from disk and we never free in memory btree nodes - but, we
have bug reports that indicate something might be faulty with this
optimization, so let's add an option for it.

Signed-off-by: Kent Overstreet <kent.overstreet@gmail.com>